That's exactly how I felt when I saw my e-mail light up with a comment on this blog. It's been seriously so long, I had to try and remember the password to this blog. The first comment of this blog was from the middle of May. Ya know, when it was written? I didn't respond to you did I? Actually, I had a chuckle and left it up there for the hell of it. I am, of course, a huge fan of transparency after all.
I make no qualms that I am a jerk off asshole. Damn, you caught me. Sure called me out on that. Bet no one saw that one coming. Only..
They did.
I considered ignoring you.. but then I thought,"Well shit, obviously he needs something to do and I have some extra time to piss away while I await more news on the people in my life that actually matter.. fuck it why not?" So, off I came to a blog that is almost NEVER used.. because you knew that I'd get an e-mail didn't you? It's not like you can piss off on my other blog... you are blocked from that one aren't ya? You won't show your face at SIN because I'll boot your ass as soon as you show your true colors. You can't get me on facebook because I "don't exist" there. (AKA you're blocked there and so is your fake ass little girlfriend.) In fact, I've closed off just about every single avenue you have to get at me. Except this one.. haven't I?
You just don't take a hint when it's throw right at you, do you? Sigh. Ah well, whatever. I'll start with your THREE PART butt whine already then.
In defense of my honour. Part 1.
A follow-up after several months.
First question.. why bother? Is your "honour" so dislodged by something that happened so many months ago that you have to leave a three part comment? Especially after I ignored your last e-mails AND your last comment on this blog? I digress..
Do excuse my bluntness, Ms OrgasmicKarmatic. This is time to finally get closure and apply my need and desire for moral self-defense. It's not just about your terms only, you're not the only person in the Universe.
Nothing about this little whine was blunt in any kind of way. I've used more harsh words when ordering a soft drink. Don't fool yourself into thinking you are the big bad wolf.. you aren't. You are the only one that needs closure in this as I had mine when I deleted and blocked you. Shrugs. And actually, correcting your last statement.. my world DOES revolve around me and mine. Sorry that you aren't included in that and your fucking feelings were hurt. My bad.
I am not out to harm you. I am not out to stalk you. I am not like your abusive ex who you seem completely jaded by. I am not the Meq of troll lore, the monstrous psycho put together by people with no real-world experience of me. But you don't get to control me either. I am a free man, not a slave.
Sigh. I don't think you are stalking me. Though, you aren't doing a good job of sodding off either. Even after I've blocked and deleted you from everywhere else. Just saying. I don't consider you a threat to me either so let's just get that out of the way. I was never afraid of you doxing me.. nor did I think you would. By all means though, if you need my information, you can get it all on facebook. Of course, that is if you could even access it.
As for the last sentence.. uh, good for you I guess?
without walking on eggshells as if you are some kind of delicate flower. I consider this fair and just. This is how a civilised person handles conflict.
hahaha this one made me chuckle a bit. No one in my life thinks that I am some delicate flower.. nor treats me as such but hey, whatever. I figured the most civilized thing to do with a person during a conflict that persists continuously over and over again was just to call it quits and ignore the probl--- I mean, person. My bad again.
Lexi, this is honestly the way I saw your and Jeanette's behaviour on my forum - like two spoiled puppy dogs going into someone's lair and taking a shit on their rug to mark their territory, feeling entitled to tolerance for their liberty to shit on the rug. Then after forcing the owner to kick them out by pushing the rug-shitting to extremes without considering how the owner felt about their puppy rug-shitting antics, throwing a temper tantrum and sulking after to get pity and sympathy from your highschool clique, pretentiously acting like delicate and beautiful ladies who were poor victims of the Big Bad Meq.
The only person that is referring to you as the "big bad Meq" is you. The idea that you would believe for one second that a "sociopath" like myself would ever consider you as big and bad is fucking laughable. There is nothing big or bad about you is there Meq? I'M a puppy? Shit, you are a kicked puppy. Whatever floats your boat. Did I really do what was equated to shitting on your rugs in your "lair"? I always thought that whole "law" or whatever was silly as fuck.. lairs and shit. It's the INTERNET, you don't have a fucking lair in a public community. But besides that, the ONLY thing I did was tell you that a rule that you made was bullshit.
That's right ladies and gentlemen, I am a rug shitter because I called his idea bullshit. That's what this show is all about. But I'M the one with the problem. Jesus christ Meq.. how old are you again?
I didn't want sympathy.. you have to hurt someone for that... last time I checked you thought I was a sociopath. If I am a sociopath, I do wonder why you waste your time explaining to me how you feel because honestly, I wouldn't give a shit would I?
You do not have the right to dominate me with temper tantrums and demandingness on my own forum. That is the reason I banned you ..
No, dear, I formed an opinion and told you. You didn't like it's delivery so you demoted me.. then promoted me again, then demoted me and THEN banned me. If you are wondering why I am cutting out the parts of Female Satan it is because you should take all your shit in a bag against her to her doorstep. I am not an authority over Female Satan and I do not think that her taking on a similar opinion as myself means that she's a rug shitter either. (Jeez, maybe that's why it took you so long to try to contact me again.. it really took you TWO MONTHS to come up with that analogy? Hint: it stinks as much as a puppy actually shitting on a rug.. just saying)
I banned you because you CROSSED MY LINES.
oops.. my bad.
In my world, I do not allow a woman to control me with emotional abuse and head games, under any circumstances. I do not tolerate mobbing/gang behaviour.
Uh, good for you.. again?
I am not Zach Black or Shawn.
No you most certainly are not. You got that right. Shawn is more of a man than you will ever be. He showed me your stupid PM to him on facebook the other day. Which is why I KNEW this one was coming. Didn't anticipate it being this LONG though. Ah well, hit or miss. It's cute to send PMs to people that won't talk to you asking if they are "still drinking troll juice". Thanks for that laugh.
I was cruel and you deserved that, Lexi.
Oh please Meq, you weren't "cruel".. you were fucking stupid. That's all. Fact. Stop acting like it was YOU that cut off communication between the two of us when it was really me. You want me to take the blame for it.. stop implying it was just you "defending your honor". You're full of shit. I personally asked for you to delete my account at SEDS.. I personally deleted and blocked you.. I was the one that stopped responding.. YOU had nothing to do with it. Stop acting like you are the hard ass from across the pond. You're not.
Life is not highschool, some people do grow up.
Would you do everyone the favor of actually proving it then? Aren't you like ten years older than I am? Get the fuck out of here with your pretentious life isn't high school bullshit. You're the one following ME around. I don't try to contact you, I don't leave messages on your blogs or message your girlfriend spouting ridiculous bullshit. YOU are.. YOU are doing all of that.
And you are still hurt over it. Over getting banned from a fucking forum. You won't even admit it to yourself, but all your antics reek of hurt.
Oh my lord, seriously? You are telling me that after months of ignoring you and going out of my way to make sure you can't contact me anymore, I'M acting butthurt? After you commenting and e-mailing me continuously with no response, my antics reek of butthurt? What the hell is wrong with your head man? I don't talk about you on SIN, I don't talk about you on any of my blogs and I don't even discuss you with anyone in my real life. In fact, both Wicked and I had all but forgotten your existence until you PMd him the other day. Why do you feel like you are so important that you can just claim to know anything about anything when it comes to me?
Furthermore, what fucking antics are you even talking about?? I'm real confused about that because you go on and on about it for the next three paragraphs of "Part Two" and I just don't even understand why that portion of the comment is there. It's obvious you have no idea what you are talking about. Are you okay, man? Have you suffered a fall since the last time we spoke? Or are you just being a paranoid fuckwit? You might want to get that checked out, bro.
deflect all Lexi's personal responsibility when convenient and buy into herd opinion. Convenient and easy to believe it's all Meq, not you. But that proves nothing. You're entitled to your own opinion, but not your own reality.
Actually, I just took responsibility for something. Yes, I am an asshole.. I took responsibility in the last blog for being honest to a fault. I'm NOT a nice person.. never said I was and that's never going to change. You fuck with me, take on the consequences. Sorry, that's just who I am. I'll also take on that I am responsible for hurting your simple sensibilities. Sorry you can't handle the kind of person I am. Some people can run with the bulls, some just.. well you know.
As for the last sentence, what the fuck is that even supposed to mean? Reality is PURELY subjective. EVERYONE has their own reality and as to whether or not we are entitled to that personal reality is completely a moot point since subjectivity is not exactly something we have control over.. soo yeah, I do have my own little world.. so do you.. and so does everyone else. Start making sense man.
Feel free to blame me for everything. It's not you, it's all me. Go on, you know you want to. The trolls were 100% right about Meq
No.. No.. and Yes. No, I don't blame you for everything.. I let it fester for too long without cutting it off. No, it's not just you.. I thought that you might have something to offer my life. My bad. EVERYONE was right about you. I haven't met a single fucker that has a high opinion of you. Lost little boy in a big ole world looking for friends with wide eyes and only finds fiends unworthy of his time. What a shame.
Or alternatively, you could get treatment for your evident Borderline Personality Disorder (often misdiagnosed as Bipolar, your case is clearly BPD).
Thanks Doc.. I'll get right on that. I'm fairly certain that you don't have a PhD in psychology so I am going to take your armchair advice with a grain of salt. Again, you are not an expert on myself or my life.. why can I say that? Oh well, clearly you live in an entirely different part of the world. I don't know how they do it over there but we don't go to friends to be diagnosed with anything. Different strokes for different folks, I suppose.
I have a mild Autistic Spectrum Disorder with long-term depression, due to an excessively high IQ being raised in a low-IQ environment.
How fucking tragic. "I'm so smart and everyone around me is so dumb that it depressed me.. waaa waaa waaa". Please, if anything, you have a severe case of antisocial behaviour. You're constantly looking for a reason that someone is backstabbing you, you are excessively paranoid and participate in risky life decisions not limited to yourself but also a hazard towards others that may or may not become involved in your life. You create a world where even your girlfriend has strict guidelines to follow in order to not come under fire. Your consistently egotistical thinking that the world needs to be more this or that in order to fit into your little bubble. You reek of pretentiousness and entitlement, thinking that everyone owes you something because you are you. Obviously, you think highly of your IQ and use that as a way to complement yourself because you don't have any other straws to grasp at. But even this is a failure as you could have all the book smarts in the world but it still wouldn't help you with your awkward mannerisms when it comes to actually communicating with REAL people and not just numbers and letters on a screen.
You are probably extremely lonely but deny yourself that feeling because you remind yourself that it is others that have the issues and not yourself. So you allow yourself to remain broken because remember, it's them and not you. After all, you are highly intelligent, probably more intelligent than the swine that you have to interact with on an every day basis right, and you would know. You always know.
You also put people in your life on a high pedestal when you like them. Applying unrealistic boundaries to them and get angry, quite like a child, when they break the rules..
People around you have nothing better to do than waste their time on the internet bothering other people that don't want to be bothered.. oh wait.
I strongly value loyalty and integrity and utterly despise unwarranted backbiting done out of petty jealousy and envy. Hence my vengeful act against the 600 Club member which got me excommunicated.
Yup, I am sure that everything that anyone does to you is just out of envy and jealousy. See Meq, or Stephen since you've obviously decided to talk to me by my actual name.. (Congrats, we've made progress.) I am not jealous of your hermetic life. I certainly do not envy you in the least bit. When I think of Meq, I think of annoying, self rightous, prick.. and the list goes on. That's just three.. that took me less than a second because that is what I think of you. Truly. I can say it freely.
Before I go any further though, I want you to know that I don't hate you. I don't even really dislike you. Actually, I don't feel anything towards you. You are a non factor in my life for the most part. Except when you decide to mob my blog once every 6 weeks or so.. You mean absolutely nothing to me. Are you getting it yet? Somehow, I recognize your same old pattern and know that you STILL think this is all coming from me being hurt. Sigh.. anyhow..
Bipolar/Borderline is the VERY DEFINITION of an unstable person.
Darlin, I am one of the most stable people you will ever meet. I wouldn't be the person that I am if I hadn't learned how to grow through being bipolar. I hold a full time job, I maintain a healthy relationship with family, friends and lover and I am an excellent parent. People fucking LOVE me. Just saying. I have an exciting personality and I am a hard worker. This isn't me fluffing my feathers, these are quotes from actual people that KNOW me. Like, you know, offline.. in real life.
You still aren't getting it are you?
Only psychopaths prey on friends, or complete untrustworthy hypocrites who are worthy of cruel bottom-up justice when they cross me with that game I do not tolerate. Like this very message. I am no more cruel than this. What you see is what you get.
This is a joke right? This is as cruel as you get? You aren't cruel. You are about as cruel as a dead body. I don't prey on my friends and I didn't prey on you. It's all in your head man.. it really is. All of this nonsense about me being all psychopathic and using you is just ridiculous. How did I use you? Where did this even come from? Again, stop acting like you are some big dog.
Maybe people don't trust you because they see you as you really are, as an untrustworthy and unstable person? You got pissy at me repeatedly for not trusting you.
Where did you get the idea that no one trusted me in real life? Plenty of people trust me in a real life. I have no idea what you are talking about Stephen. Yes, I got upset that you didn't trust me but that's after getting shit for actually defending your dumb ass and then having you go all agro paranoid on me when I hadn't done shit for it. Shrugs.. water under the bridge now. What makes you think that I care if you think I'm trustworthy or not? Non factor.. keep repeating that yourself.
"I am a non factor in Org's life"
That evil Meq who victimised you... It's all his fault! Meanie! Jake is right, Meq's an evil psycho and predator, your worst fears come true! And you are prey! Prey! RUN FOR YOUR LIFE! The Big Bad Wolf is out! You're a stupid bitch aren't you.
I figured that this part of the comment would come eventually. Congrats, you've made progress with yourself.. it took you longer than normal to "lose your temper" this time. You didn't victimize me.. nor did I ever say that you did. You manifest all these rando things about me.. like you've somehow heard them come from me or something.. when you know you never have. (And never will.) We had a mutual falling out.. You continued with your forum.. I asked to be removed.. you refused and instead changed my name on your forum.. then proceeded to e-mail me via fb (until I blocked you), my reg e-mail (until I stopped responding) and my blogs (until I also blocked you on the one you commented the most on). Now we are here. Obviously, YOU have the issue.. NOT me.
Partially it is my fault.. I should have cut you out of my life as soon as you starting getting all weird and shit and then I would not have to deal with you.. or maybe I would .. who knows?
Whoo buddy, you tried to insult me. Hahaha whatever. Is stupid bitch the only thing your "highly intelligent" brain could come up with? You can drop the stupid because likely I am far more intelligent in many ways than you are and keep the bitch.. because I like being a bitch. I really like being a bitch. It shows me who is worth keeping around and can hold their water and who can't.. can you guess what group you fall into?
You are the one being neurotic here Lexi, not me.
Sure I am. Though, may I point out that I am not the one still talking about events that happened months ago on a forum that, as far as I know, doesn't exist anymore. I am also not the one hunting down any way to communicate with a person that obviously has shown no interest in myself or my life in months? Seems a little fishy to me honestly. I would think that would be kind of considered neurotic. Nevertheless, I guess if you hide it under the guise of "defending your honor" (whatever the hell that means), you can do just about anything can't you?
And I do actually understand Moral Nihilism. If moral nihilism is true, then I did nothing wrong. Can you admit that? Otherwise, you are a complete and utter hypocrite. Not me, you.
LULZ. You just proved that you DIDN'T understand moral nihilism. Jesus christ Meq. It's called a book.. go get one. Moral nihilism states that nothing starts out as good or bad. I don't really believe we need to attach good or bad to anything. Doesn't mean that you aren't a fucking dick.. or that you aren't in the wrong.. just means that from your perspective, you may see it that you weren't in the wrong or you aren't a pretentious asshole. (HINT: You are.)
In my book, you did nothing evil, just foolish. I have no need for hate or malice, and I have no need for your approval or your attention. I am not a stalker, Lexi. Sulk forever if it works for you. I know you're still sore.
If it looks stupid but it works, it ain't stupid. My disconnect from you worked for me.. maybe not for you but that's not my problem is it? I don't care enough about you to even wonder if you need my approval for anything.
Furthermore, what is this sore shit about? You keep talking about this sore idea like you fucked me raw dog anally with no lube. Please spare yourself embarrassment (which I know you don't feel anyhow because you are such a stuck up asshole) and stop trying to fool your poor little IQ riddled brain from a bad and unintelligent home into thinking that, for one second, I was ever sore about you. I cut ties with you because you were becoming an annoyance .. not because I felt wronged by you. Remember? I am the one that isn't taking responsibility for being a super cunt.. blahblah blah... do you even proofread what you publish?
And you're jealous of my real integrity over your fake mask of lies and hypocrisy - your pretentiousness. You're fool's gold. You proved, beyond a shadow of a doubt to any reasonable human being, that only an idiot would trust you. I can see right through you.
Hello, ego tripping much there buddy? Where did you ever get that I was just jealous of you? Again, did you take a spill since the last time we spoke? How self important of you. You make me fucking laugh. Who would be jealous of someone so awkward and socially inept as you are? Sure as hell NOT me. Sorry.. you can't even see through a fucking glass window.. how do you think you see through me? Or for that matter, judge anyone that I know? My friends think you are a joke just like everyone else. And guess what? Your 3 part long "defending your honor" proves every word that I have said.
I am just the bigger person than you. Deal with it.
You just keep telling yourself that honey.
Feel free to throw a temper tantrum and act like I've victimized you
Get the fuck out of here.. it's starting to smell..
